Film at 11:00
What does “Film at 11:00” mean? I’ll get to that. What it doesn’t mean is that you’ll be seeing me post my current picture any time soon.
I’m happy to report that the surgery went well. Connie spoke with the doctor and he seemed content. I suppose the healing process has begun but, for now, I look like a seen from a Rocky movie. But, as someone close to me told just this morning, “what matters is the vision going out of my eyes and not the vision of the outside.” He said it better, but you get the idea.
What a day we had. I knew we were in trouble when I found out my surgery was scheduled for 11:30. That means there was too much time for delays. I was happy when they left me a voicemail indicating that it had been moved up to 10:30, so we needed to arrive by 8:30. Better, right? Not so much.
We arrived at 8:30, greeted by the nicest receptionist, made our payment and proceeded to don the attire provided by 9:30. After multiple visits from various nurses gathering my vitals, Rhonda walks in. She’s the RN and proceeds to tell me that the doctor is running a 1/2 hour behind for my 11:30 appointment. Time out, my surgery is scheduled for 10:30. Wrong. At 11:40 Leon comes to take me down to the surgery waiting area. (I glanced at his watch when we arrived) This would more appropriately be called a staging area or holding pen. As he wheeled me in, all that I could think of was a slaughter-house. The smell in air, the gurney’s lined up and the frantic look on everyone’s face was a little unnerving (and this is my 3rd time here).
After staring at the Rx dispensing machine, I heard footsteps coming from my right side, which was blind anyway and then a shout, “I’ll handle this pre-op’. Then there was this nice, gum-popping voice “Hi, are you Mr. Wagner, I’m Kristen?”. We all know that I’m a smartass, so I said, “No, I’m your pre-op.” I think she got the point and said, “otherwise known as Mr. Wagner.” After Kristen, came the RN. I was greeted by Joan, the RN on duty, who inserted my IV and quite nicely I might add (hit the vein on the first try). She was very nice, but focused. You could just tell that she was in charge, delivering direction whether it was asked for or not. I asked, “Are you in charge of all of these people?”. Her response was appropriate, “No, I’m just bossy.”
Then Dr. Crossis-sp? (the Fellow assisting Dr. Katz) came in to shake my hand and mark my forehead, so they were sure to work on the right eye. (Ha, that would have been a kick in the pants!) From that point, I met with Peggy (Nurse Anesthetist-sp?) and Dr. Lee (Anesthesiologist). They delivered my shot and wheeled me into the operating room and that’s when the lights went out.
When the lights came back on, I asked what time it was, 2:15. Wow, there goes my day. Good thing that we didn’t have any plans. After waking up in post-op, you have to wait an hour to move to a room. Then, as long as you keep your solids down, after another hour you’re free to leave. At this point, I hadn’t seen solids or fluids in 20+ hours. Once they went in me, I assure you that, they were absorbed on contact. Saltines never tasted so good.
It’s 4:15 and time to go. Connie made spaghetti for dinner. Some of the most needed carbs I’ve ever had. Time to watch the Evening News with Brian Williams, then clean-up email for a 1/2 hour. At 7:30, reruns of Big Bang Theory are on. I love that show. Connie yells at 7:40, “Uh-oh.” I immediately thought that the squad had been called for one of our neighbors that had been having heart issues. This was not the case. Our street was lit up with three firetrucks, four police cars, two ambulances and other assorted personnel.
Connie said that the firemen were going to the girls house next door. I told everyone to get their shoes and coat on, because if there was a fire we would be evacuated. As Connie peered from the front window, I walked out to our driveway where I heard a fireman yelling, “Is there anyone inside?”. He asked once and started kicking the door in, but continued to ask as he gave his best mule kick. That an officer approached me and asked me to go inside. Up the stairs I went to our bedroom, which had a birds-eye view, where Connie, Jess and Colin were looking on. After the fireman’s mule kicks proved fruitless he broke the lower front window. Soon after, another fireman came with a ladder and broke out one of the second story windows and the smoke began to billow. We had a fire, but no flames could be seen from our vantage point. Once securing entry, firemen went in with hoses and come out with one of the neighbor ladies, a cat and dog. The cat appeared to be in the best shape of the three.
After some time had passed I went into our driveway where I met Officer Wood of the Hilliard Police Department. He asked me a few questions. I gave him our contact information and went back inside. Later, I saw what I thought was another officer coming up our driveway. It ended up to be a news reporter. I answered a few of his questions and then he asked if I would go on camera. It was a little tempting, but I told him that I had just had eye surgery a few hours ago. “Would your wife be interested?”, he asked. “I’ll check”. A minute later Connie put on a coat and was being interviewed by Jason from Channel 10 and David from Channel 6. Her 15 minutes of fame took up 8 seconds of air time. The kids were diggin’ it. Me too!
Once the latest film of the “new me” is more presentable, I will upload appropriate photos. Film at 11:00.